Stellar Sounds - nomoreroses, Holding Absence

"If God is just and fair" nomoreroses Holding Absence.

Living this life has made me question if there really is a God in this life?

It's too hard to fathom because God is supposed to be unreachable, unknowable in essence. Why do we name it God? It shouldn't have a name at all.

This song is relatable, "I never believed in you because you never believed in me."

We have had to work hard for our lives, if there was a God that exists, who believed in us in the first place? We've battled oppression, isolation, misplacement, ostracization, and pain. How can we believe in something, when we have had only ourselves to believe in?

We need to believe in ourselves because this is how we live our lives. We don't want to be bound by rules to govern our lives. We want to do ‘us’. Be human, which is to live.

The song reminds me that the capacity to believe in oneself is strong enough to battle any crisis. That you will never be lost if you have conquered yourself.

I felt I have lost a huge part of myself and have become a cardboard box.

I've lost my feelings. I've lost my dignity, I've lost my Faith. I've lost my identity. I did strange things that had caused me to feel terrible and sick.

This illness has transformed me into a monster. That I don't want to meet. How to tame the monster that lives with me? This question lingers within the depths of me. Forever will be the question echoed in my journey of life.

Lyrics to nomoreroses, Holding Absence:

If God is just and fair

Why wasn't my heart spared?

[Verse 1]

I've waited all my life

To see this holy light

You're smothering my eyes

I wanna see it, I wanna feel it

The harder that I pray

The more you make it rain

I'm soaked in all this pain

Forgive me for drowning

Deafen me with your voice

You stuffed me with this void

[Chorus]

And if I've done you wrong by not enduring this pain

Well, where were you and all your eternal holy grace?

[Verse 2]

I've been sitting on your front porch, knocking on your front door

Knocking till my knuckles turn red raw

I've been sitting in the ether, looking for beliеf

I'm lost like a whistle in the wind

I'vе been kneeling on my bare bones

Speaking with my eyes closed

Keeping both my knuckles pressing my nose

But nothing that I ever do

Will close this hole inside of me

If you are just and fair

Why won't you meet me there?

[Chorus]

And if I've done you wrong by not enduring this pain

Well, where were you and all your eternal holy grace?

[Outro]

How many tear-stained sonatas must I sing for you to see?

I never believed in you because you never believed in me